Comic Maker

I'm in the middle of several things at the moment, which is why I still haven't posted part 2 of the TW process. It's pretty much done but I want to double check it, and don't have the time yet. Will also chuck in the Gallifrey report soon, which is in a similar state. But not right now, because it's Friday night, baby, and I got plans! Yeah! BIG plans! That's right - I'm getting a takeaway, and firing up the PS3! Out of control, man! I'm a maverick! I'm a loose cannon! I hate the paperwork, but I get the job done, dammit!

Shut up, I can pretend what I want.

Anyway, one of the smaller, secret things I did recently was for the BBC's Comic Maker. The news article has just gone up here, and you can read my comic here. The brief was to do a short, fun 6-page comic using only the things in the Comic Maker - they gave me a list of backgrounds, characters, monsters, and props that were available - to show what the application can do. So go and have a play with it if you like, it's all free and pretty flexible.

Me? I got some business to attend to... Now, where's the takeaway menu?

Doctor Who and interview pimpage

It is now safe to announce that I've got a short story in the upcoming Short Trips collection, "Transmissions", which will be released on July 31st. It's my first ever published short story, not counting school magazines, and it features the 4th Doctor and the 2nd Romana, or Romana II if you want to get technical.

Why those two? Because they were the ones I grew up watching, and much as I love the first Romana, I didn't see her adventures until much later. City of Death is my earliest Who-related memory, so it was only natural that I set something around that time with those characters.

The current issue of Doctor Who Magazine, issue 395, has got a big feature on the Pompeii ep, and a mini interview with me. The current issue of SFX has details on series 3 of Primeval, and the new series Spooks: Code 9, both of which have an episode by me.

I've done another podcast interview with the ninjas over at Geek Syndicate, which you can find here. We mainly talked about the Pompeii ep, although for some reason I managed to mention Nazis yet again, which is starting to become a worrying habit.

And there's a massive interview with the good people over at Den of Geek, in which I talked about writing for all of the shows, how I got started, online reactions, meetings, and so on. No mention of Nazis, although I did use the phrase "I was just following orders", so clearly they were on my mind.

Oh, and I've just done an interview for "Nazi Chat Monthly" magazine, but I'll let you know when that's out.

9.04 million

The final viewing figures are in: The Fires of Pompeii officially got 9.04 million viewers in total, including repeats and so on. It was the 4th most watched thing on BBC1 that week, and the 10th most watched thing on any channel for that week. I am gobsmacked. My gob is well and truly smacked. Nine... million... people... No, I can't get that through my head, it's too big and bizarre.

The full length commentary is now available, for anyone who wants to have a listen - it's online here, although not for download, you'll have to play it in the browser and watch the ep on the telly at the same time. Or just listen to the commentary. Or ignore all of it, and have a cup of tea. You can do anything you like! Just put your mind to it! Etc.

I'm very pleased to say that I'll be back at Gallifrey next year, so hopefully I'll get this year's report posted before then. If you're in the area, or nearby, then drop in and say hello.

Now, for you US viewers, the Pompeii episode will be on the Sci Fi channel tomorrow night, Friday, 2nd May, at 9pm EDT, or 11pm PDT. You US folk will understand what those numbers and letters mean, I don't because I come from an impoverished country that can only afford one timezone. So watch it! Unless of course, you have already resorted to Commie Nazi illegal downloading, which helps to fund TERRORISM and WASPS and PAEDOPHILES, probably, according to the adverts.

But seriously, here is a proper anti-piracy warning, so please watch this before you go a-pirateering:

The Rift aftermath

Last Saturday I went to The Rift, the world's first all-Torchwood convention. I was a guest, along with Joe Lidster, Phil Ford, Richard Stokes, Eve Myles, Gareth David-Lloyd, Kai Owen, Keith Topping - and the legend that is James Marsters. Had a great time, it was so much fun. We all got brought out on stage at the start to say hello, which was terrifying. As we waited to go on, we all panicked - including the actors - about the roar that erupted from the audience. We debated the best thing to say or do on stage, so I suggested that scene from the Exorcist - just walk on stage, piss yourself, say "you're all going to die", drop the mic (WHUMP, feedback), and walk offstage again. Some of us (coughEveMylescough) were very, very tempted to do this for a laugh, but cooler heads (and empty bladders) prevailed.

The thing about these things is, even though you know every single person is there because they love the show, it's still a LOT of people, and you have to stand up in front of them and be entertaining. So naturally you start thinking things like "what if I mess it up, if I can't think of anything to say". Which makes you freak out, and increases the chances of that happening. But we all coped really well, especially those of us on the writer panel, because we were on at 3pm and had all been to the pub for lunch. Tongues were loosened. Babies and twisted Weevil dress up games were mentioned (okay, they were both me). And only one of us accidentally swore on the mic - I don't want to say who it is, but his initials are J.L., his name rhymes with Poe Kidster, and his actual name is Joe Lidster. If you're clever, you can figure it out from those clues.

It was lovely to meet everyone, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And it was especially cool to meet James Marsters, who is a force of nature, really enthusiastic and fun. Gareth was lovely and funny as usual, and Eve and Kai are a hilarious double act, roaring into a song or dance or comedy sketch at the drop of a hat. We all ran up to the balcony to heckle Gareth, because he was the first to do a q+a, but then we ran away again, Eve alternately giggling and screaming with laughter, and trying to hide behind everyone. This was the view from the balcony, which you can clickyclicky for biggybiggy:


The actors had special signing sessions, because they had photos and all sorts, but us writey and producey types just went out and mingled in the main hall area now and again, and did informal signing thingies (writers don't have glossy headshots of ourselves, that would just be weird). I did 3 signing sessions, one of which took me by surprise. I'd just come out to have a look around and mingle, and a couple of people came over with things for me to sign, which was all cool. I led them over to the edge of the stage, so I could lean on it and write properly. Signed three or four things, then a few more, and thought hmm, I didn't realise it was that many people - I looked up, and there was a queue of about twenty people. I thought that I'd somehow managed to block some other event, so asked "you're not all here for me, are you?" But they all nodded and smiled, I was amazed.

We went over to a different area, to keep away from the stage, and I signed all sorts of stuff, books, magazines, posters, printed out stuff, slide mounts, autograph books, even a copy of Severance - no body parts yet, although I did sign a hand back at Gallifrey in Feb (will post that report soon, it's a biggun, ooh matron, etc). It was lovely, and the queue kept growing and growing, I felt really flattered and touched that so many people wanted me to sign things. Because I'm just some bloke really, who happens to have written for telly, and don't consider myself special or amazing or anything. Although I *am* hardcore.

I tried to write something funny or strange on everything I signed, so apologies to anyone who just got a "Hello!" or "Best wishes!" or something, I totally ran out of jokes. And I hope everyone who wanted me to sign stuff found me, I popped in and out as regularly as I could. What was fascinating to me was how many people said they read the blog - I know lots of people read it, but it's quite bizarre to actually meet them. You look at the stats, but somehow it doesn't seem real. But there they were, real as anything. So hello to you all, glad you like the blog - say hello in the comments if you were there.

And sorry to anyone who I asked to spell their name about 20 times, but I've signed lots of things where someone has said "make it out to Jim", then I write "Jim", but it turns out that the correct spelling is J'Ymme, or something. Also sorry for the several occasions where I made a mess out of signing my own name. I am so used to keyboards now, that a drunken chimp is probably better than me at using a pen. I should hire one. Want me to sign that? Sure, talk to my chimp. Don't look him in the eye, he'll think it's a challenge, and try to mount you. Oh God, he's killed another kid - call the chimp that dumps the bodies.

During the q+a, someone asked what research we did, if any. I mentioned something about the warhead storage thing, but totally forgot about the other thing: I needed to know if I could realistically (well, TV-realistically) take out the landlines and mobiles for a large city, and spent several dull, complex hours online reading about it. I'll go into more detail in the next Torchwood Writing Process post, but to summarise in advance: it's kind of possible, but extremely difficult and unlikely. So I combined some research, and fiddled it a bit.

Going to events like this really makes me appreciate my job, because I get to meet people who see and enjoy my work. I'm incredibly grateful to everyone who took the time to say hello, say nice things, or ask me to sign stuff. You're all fab, and I hope you enjoy the other stuff I'm working on. I mean, I really hope you do, because I'm writing bloody everything on telly at the moment, and you'll get sick to death of me otherwise...

Two weeks in the life

I've been incredibly busy for the past 6 or 7 months, and I'm always popping into the blog and going "ooh, I'm so busy", but what does that actually mean? Do I loaf around and then do 5 minutes of work in the afternoon (that's the goal), or am I really that busy, frantically working every waking hour? Usually it's a nice mix of the two, but for the past few months, it's been mainly frantic. So here is a breakdown of the 2 weeks leading up to the weekend of my Doctor Who episode, to show what it's been like for a while. I'm not posting this asking for sympathy or anything like that, so please hold off on the letter writing campaign to Amnesty International - they will just laugh at you. This is purely so you can see what I've been working on and how busy things can get. As they say, it's for information purposes only, and not to be used for any illegal activity. So don't print it out and choke someone to death with it, whatever you do. Unless they really deserve it.

Monday 31st March: I have two weeks left to finish writing the first draft of my Law & Order script, so today is mostly spent working on that. I started it a couple of weeks ago, so it's in good shape. When things are getting close to the deadline, as they are now, I get up, have breakfast, and start writing. I don't stop until I'm too tired to go any further. Sometimes this is 6 or 7pm, sometimes much later. I'll stop for dinner, then just keep going.

Tuesday 1st April: Writing L&O in the morning, then heading out in the afternoon for the Doctor Who press launch. I'm really excited to go, but it does mean losing half a day where I could be writing. Shouldn't be a problem though, I've still got nearly 2 weeks until the deadline. Although many of those days will be taken up with meetings, but it should be enough time. Right...?

Wednesday 2nd: Writing in the morning, but then have to go and get a train for tomorrow's story conference - I'm staying overnight. Was going to write on the train, but prepare for the story conference instead.

Thursday 3rd and Friday 4th: 2-day story conference for New Secret Thing, 10am to 5pm both days. Goes really well, but I don't get any writing done on L&O, because my brain is too full. Get back home late Friday night.

Saturday 5th and Sunday 6th: Writing L&O all day, till late, very late - usually midnight or thereabouts. Also do a short script for an online thingy (will announce that soon, secret for now). Starting to get frazzled, and occasionally startled by the bewildered, unshaven madman in the mirror.

Monday 7th: Primeval readthrough in the morning, which goes very well, but then I have to go straight back home to keep writing L&O.

Tuesday 8th: I need to keep going on L&O, but also do an outline for Other Popular Show, and an outline for New Secret Thing (based on the story conference notes from last week). Work on all of them today. Just over two days left for L&O. Not panicking at all. Screeching in terror now and again, but that's perfectly normal.

Wednesday 9th: Same as yesterday. Finish off both outlines, and keep going on L&O. But - I get an email from the producer of Different New TV Secret Thing, asking for some extra ideas for the outline I gave them a few weeks ago, so have to come up with some paragraphs for that and email it off. Start to pull my face off and howl at the moon, but it's perfectly normal, and nothing to do with the workload.

Thursday 10th: Was planning to spend the morning in town picking up some stuff, just relaxing and having a day out, but have to cancel it, stay in, and continue writing L&O. Make some changes to the New Secret Thing outline, after a quick phonecall from the script editor, and send it off. At 5pm I've got a script meeting in town for Other Popular Show, which helps with that outline a lot, but I don't get back home until around 8pm. Continue writing L&O, finally finishing it at 20 past midnight. Check through, send it off. Had to be finished tonight, even though tomorrow is the deadline, because I've got an all day meeting tomorrow. Crawl into bed, giggling at the moon, but that's perfectly normal.

Friday 11th: The second story conference day for New Secret Thing. Another all dayer. This finishes about 4pm, and I have to come straight home and finish getting the house ready for the weekend, because my Dublin mates will be here in a couple of hours. So everything finishes in the nick of time, ready for me to relax and get very, very drunk.

And that was my fortnight of mayhem.

But it doesn't stop, it just pauses briefly. I had a great Doctor Who weekend (see the previous few posts), but as soon as it was over, everything kept going - on Monday and Tuesday, I had a 2 day Law & Order story conference. Then two other meetings on Wednesday. And another one Thursday morning, which I had to rearrange because I'd just got too much to finish. Then at the weekend I had to revise 2 outlines, write a new one for Different New TV Secret Thing, and do a quick script polish on something else of mine.

And by the end of April/early May I need to finish a short story, do a 2nd draft of the Law & Order script, then start the Other Popular Show and New Secret Thing scripts. In May, I'll have to do the first draft of my other L&O episode (I'm doing two), after I finish the Other Popular Show and New Secret Thing scripts, then probably start the Different New TV Secret Thing script. Which will take me into mid-June. And then I'm going to need a holiday. Or even just a weekend off. I've been in this room for eight years now, Clarice. I know they will never, ever let me out while I'm alive. What I want is a view. I want a window where I can see a tree, or even water. I want to be in a federal institution, far away from Dr. Chilton.

Why do things get so busy? Just the way it is, sometimes. I'm also in demand a bit, partly because people like my stuff, partly because I'm busy - if they think they can't have you, it drives them bananas and they want you even more. When I was flogging a movie thing around town ages ago, I was due to go away for a week somewhere, and let my agent know. Suddenly, every producery-type in town wanted to meet me *right now*, before I went away. I explained that I'd be back after a week - that's what "a week away" means - but they didn't care, had to be now now now. Just in case. They thought that if they left it, someone else would meet me before they did, buy the thing, and make it a huge hit. So I had to cram a load of meetings in before I left, it was hectic but very nice to be wanted. And in the end, as you've probably guessed, the thing didn't sell. What's that all abaaaht, eh? But in TV Land, when you're in demand, people actually hire you, and treat you nicely, which is A Good Thing. Also, I had a 6 month period around the release of Severance where I had no work whatsoever, and thought that maybe it was all over. So right now I'm taking full advantage of my position, and am able to pick and choose what I want to work on. Which is also A Good Thing.

After burning out a bit in February, I've been organising things properly so that I don't have too much on at once. But all it takes is one show to move a schedule forwards or backwards, and then there is a critical overlap - which happened in Jan/Feb, when two things moved at the same time and caught up with me. I can usually do two major things at the same time without any trouble. Any more, and things can get... hairy. Right now I'm working on episodes for 4 different TV shows, all at different stages (see above). According to the plan and schedule, at any given time, 2 are at script stage, and 2 are at outline stage, which is manageable - I do a draft of the 1st, then do a draft of the 2nd while waiting for notes on the 1st. So I'm hoping that things don't get moved around. And that's how I manage my time at the moment. Ask away if anything's not clear. I'm about to sign contracts on Other Popular Show, so I'll be able to say what that is soon.

Now I have to go and lie down for a bit, and foam at the mouth slightly. Don't worry, it's perfectly normal.

Things they don't tell you in the screenwriting books, number 87:

Do NOT listen to the soundtrack of The Shining while writing in an empty house by yourself. It's really, really, really fucking creepy.

I am now bouncing a ball off the wall, and muttering to myself. Soon I will go upstairs to Room 237. The dead woman in the bath has been making eyes at me. Come to think of it, so has the guy down the hall in the bear costume.

I'm putting something cheerful on now.

Doctor Who weekend, reactions, questions

What a bizarre, fab weekend. Some of my mates came over from Dublin to watch the episode with me and Jo, and we had a blast. I was incredibly busy right up until Friday evening when they arrived - in fact, I'm going to do a post detailing the previous 2 weeks, just to show how crazy things got. Spent Saturday afternoon going for a fryup, then a couple of drinks in the local, before hurrying back to the house to prepare. And then the nerves kicked in, right on cue. 6.45pm arrived... and then that Ofcom announcement came up (a summary of a complaint some people had made about swearing in the Live 8 concert). For a split second, I panicked, because the announcer sounded like they were about to say "Due to the many lives lost in a massive volcano eruption in Croydon, tonight's episode has been cancelled forever as a mark of respect, and what's more, we'll never show anything else James Moran has written either, because we hate him." Luckily, volcanic activity in Croydon was very low during the weekend, so the episode went ahead as normal. All my mates cheered when my name came up, and then there was a respectful silence for the next 45 minutes. This was mainly because of the 25 bricks of C4 explosive in the room, which were wired up to a noise detector, connected to the tie-clip microphones that everyone was wearing. So nobody dared to make a sound. Some people might say my behaviour was extreme. I disagree.

Anyway, fun time had by all, and so on and so forth. Stayed off the internet for 24 hours, which now seems to be the normal ritual. Had a look Sunday evening, and was really gobsmacked by the online reaction, reviews, and messages I received. There were 8.1 million viewers according to the overnight figures, will know more when they add up the repeats and stuff. Audience Appreciation Index was 87, the highest of either BBC channel for the whole day - anything over 85 is considered excellent, so I'm pretty chuffed with that. I even braved the wilds of the OG forum again, and am really happy to see the response there - most people really liked it, and have been extremely nice about it. Thank you to everyone who emailed, commented, or sent carrier pigeons, it was much appreciated. Just a quick thing I'd like to say though: if you're emailing me or commenting on my blog, please don't slag off other writers, even if it's meant as a compliment to me, it's just not cool. Okay, I've said it, we can move on now.

Next post will be the "2 weeks of my writing life" thingy, swiftly followed by part 2 of the Torchwood writing process. And then at some point I need to post the Gallifrey reports - they're all written, just need to trim them down a bit, they're bloody huge. Huge, I tell you. And I have a big upcoming celebration, but nothing planned - on the 5th June, this blog will be 5 years old. Blimey. And I have no idea how to celebrate it, I'll be too busy in May to do anything about it. So I'm hoping to do a big post of some kind - suggestions welcome. But while I'm here, I'll quickly reply to the DW questions that came in on the last post:

miss-cellany: Got to ask, did you have the same Latin book that I did "Caecilius in hortum est.." etc?

I did Latin, but not that particular book - many of the production team did though, and loved that whole family and their adventures. They sent me a copy of the book for reference.

lizw: The choice of Latin names didn't mean anything to me because I learned from a different textbook, but I laughed when it was explained on Confidential. That said, I get the impression from reading comments elsewhere that some people whose class background doesn't include the opportunity to learn Latin felt excluded by that in-joke, which is an unfortunate result that I'm sure no-one intended - I think it would be worth watching out for that kind of class-related implication in future. It's a shame when a joke misfires and interferes with people's enjoyment of what was a great episode overall.

It doesn't exclude anyone, or misfire, they're just character names. If you get the reference, then it's an extra in-joke, if not, you're not missing out. Same with the reference to "The Romans", when the Doctor says he had nothing - okay, a little bit - to do with the great fire of Rome. Fits in as it is, but is a nice, extra little joke if you get the reference. As for class background, I grew up with bugger all money in a tiny town and went to a tiny school in the wilds of County Cork in Ireland, where I did 3 years of Latin for my Inter Cert (Irish equivalent of the O Level) - we weren't exactly swanning around in top hats. Many people did Latin, but even if they didn't, I don't see how it would have interfered with their enjoyment of the show, they're just character names. And there's always the internet, nobody's stopping anyone learning Latin if they really want to. I didn't bloody want to, but had it forced down my neck anyway, by a mad teacher who resembled a shaved gorilla, and you don't see me complaining. Apart from that previous sentence.

missylabelled said: Seriously nice work. Are you single?

Sorry girls - and boys - I'm taken, and very happy.

Matt M: Bloody loved it. (What's with the 29 minute commentary though?)

Now, the 29 minute commentary thing *was* explained to me, but... I can't remember exactly how it worked. We recorded a full episode commentary, so it exists. It was something about how they're not allowed to have a podcast unless it's been broadcast on the radio first, but they could only have a half hour thing on the radio, so the podcast was the same length. Oh, that doesn't sound right. Sorry. There were reasons, honestly. Some obscure Beeb rules and regulations involving podcasts, radios, rubber chickens, and a secret conspiracy dating back to the dawn of civilisation. Supposedly the full commentaries will be available to download later in April, but don't quote me, cause I'm probably wrong.

stabarinde: I would kill for the script. Well, not literally kill.... um, no actually, I might well do. Any chance of a glimpse?

Sorry, I don't own the copyright on the script, so I can't - they'd have me flamed to death by a Pyrovile. If I'm lucky.

And some other questions that arrived by email, or came up in reviews etc:

Many people: Are you doing more DW and/or TW?

I'd love to, and if they ask me back then I'll gladly do more. Fingers crossed...

Some others elsewhere: Were the special effects re-used from other BBC shows (Pompeii: The Last Day etc)?

No, all the CG effects in this episode were created by The Mill specifically for it. And bloody well done to them, too.

Other people: What's with the Jesus imagery in that scene near the end, with the bright light behind the Doctor and all that? Hmmm?

It's not meant to be Jesus-like, honestly. The room is really, really dark, it looks like the family are doomed, then suddenly he appears again - and because it's so dark, and they're so scared, the light looks unnaturally bright to them. It's also intended to play up the surreal aspect of the scene, and be a bit scary for them too. They probably think the Doctor and Donna are gods, but that's hardly surprising, given the power on display. But it's not meant to paint the Doctor as a Messiah figure. He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty Time Lord.

More various people: How come they didn't burst into flames inside the volcano, you stupid bastard? Wouldn't it have been *slightly* warm??

Well, normally yes. But the Pyrovile had sucked all the energy out of it, and hence most of the heat. Otherwise the Doctor and Donna would have exploded into tiny, sputtering paint stains on the floor once they went inside. I'm no scientist, but I am aware that people can't survive inside active volcanoes, cheers.

Many various people: How could the Pyrovile take over the world if they can be killed by two buckets of water, eh?

Because this particular one had chased them far from its little hideyhole base in the volcano, and he was too far away from his energy source. They were able to quickly douse a large chunk of the flames, which tipped the scale enough to set off a chain reaction, killing it. Try the same thing on one of them inside the volcano, near their energy source, and you'd get a swift flaming - and you'd deserve it too, you cheeky scamp. And once the Pyrovile used the energy converter to boil the seas and turn the planet into a firey hell, then they'd be able to go anywhere they wanted without risk.

Some other people: Now, the thing about a Plinian eruption is that the pyroclastic cloud--

Yes, yes, I know, we all know. The volcano eruption sequence is as accurate as possible, given that we don't know absolutely everything that happened. But time has been compressed somewhat, for dramatic purposes. I know it lasted nearly 24 hours with a rain of ash and pumice, I know many died because of the toxic gases that escaped, I know many were crushed to death, I know there were 4 or 5 pyroclastic surges (we only showed 2 of them), and I know lots of people managed to get out. I also know there were other areas hit, not just Pompeii - but the Doctor landed in Pompeii, so they couldn't really do much about Herculaneum and so on. There's a lot of stuff that required lots of talky explanation, and wasn't relevant to this story, so when that happens, it's best to just leave it out. It doesn't mean it's not there, just not on screen. Basically, anything that's incorrect? It's because the Pyrovile altered things by messing around. There.