Tuesday, November 08, 2005

My arse is on fire

My arse hurts. My legs hurt. My arms hurt. My back hurts. My shoulders hurt. My neck hurts. Those bits that join my shoulders to my neck hurt. My entire pelvis hurts. My wrists hurt. My *palms* hurt. I can barely walk. When I sit down, I scream like a kicked baby.

What has happened to me? Have I been run over by a bus? Dragged under a tube train? Beaten up by gangsters? No. I went for a cycle last night. Cycled from Greenwich Park to Elephant and Castle, barely 4 or 5 miles. Slowly. On flat ground. Stopping and starting. And. It. Just. Fucking. KILLED me. I thought I was getting fitter. We're both walking a lot more, getting regular exercise, can sprint for a train without getting out of breath, lost some weight, look thinner - I thought, pfft, bike ride? Piece of piss. The bike does most of the work, surely? No. It doesn't.

Yes, it was the late night London research tour that I've been meaning to get around to for ages. It was great fun, apart from the agony, and the sheer terror of being in the middle of London traffic in the rush hour while sitting on a small piece of metal with wheels. Took lots of pictures (will post a couple soon), found lots of interesting places, and it was really helpful. But holy shit, I'm in so much pain today. I'm so unfit - not as bad as I used to be, thankfully, but still unfit. And I haven't ridden a bike for years. I'm proud of myself though, I didn't wimp out, even near the end when I got a fucker of a cramp in my right thigh - I waited, walked for a bit, then cycled the rest of the way. The best bit was freewheeling down the hill from the top of Greenwich Park, on the pedestrian bit, not braking at all, taking a huge sweeping corner, and feeling like I was going about a thousand miles an hour. It was really cool. I just wish my arse didn't hurt so much today, it's really hard to sit down. Why do they make bike saddles so hard? It feels like I've been sitting on a brick, while someone smacked the brick with a sledgehammer.

And I only *nearly* fell off once. I got my foot caught on the pedal, slipped, and nearly went over the handlebars. It was on the pavement. After I'd stopped. I'll give the Tour de France a miss, I think.


Cindy said...


So next time you two visit, we will make you ski, right? ;)

Chris (UK Scriptwriter) said...

Sir you have depressed me :)

I'm thinking of starting riding a bike to work next spring. Problem is it is about 12 miles, and where I live there are LOTS of hills. For each one you go down, you have to go up two. For some reason that seems to be true for going to work and also coming home from work.

I haven't been on a bike in about 9 years, so I think I may need to practice before I do the full 12 miles.

My legs hurt just thinking about it :)

James Moran said...

I'm sure you can get bikes with soft, padded seats, and not the razor sharp brick I had. Plus, gears make hills a bit easier. And it was one of those bikes where if you sit down properly, most of the weight seems to be on your hands and wrists, as if you're standing on your hands - that's what's killing my arms and shoulders.

So get a comfy bike with a decent seat where you're not leaning on your hands - and good gears - and you should be fine. But do get lots of practice, it's much harder than it looks...

Anonymous said...

hey, do you have flickr for your photos? if you do what's the link?

James Moran said...

I do, but I only have my profile pic, blogger header, and three Severance pics on there at the moment. I need to upload some others, and show them off. Not sure what the link is, but it should be under my name if you do a search. As far as I can remember, my profile is all open and public and stuff.