Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Shane Shane Black Black

Just another quickie, matron. Whoever is reading this at the moment: get your arse off the internet right now, and go and see Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Shane Black, my hero, is back with a bang. Two of them, actually. And two kisses. See what I did there? It's the most fun you can have in the cinema at the moment with your clothes on, Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr are better than they have been for *ages*, and it's just hilarious. Seriously, go and see it now. What with the impatience of multiplexes, it'll probably only be out for a week or two, before being yanked to make room for the latest horrendous chick flick or miserable, plodding drama.

While I'm on the subject, I have two things to say. (1) No woman I know would be seen dead watching any of the current crop of "chick flicks", they're an insult to intelligent womanhood / womanness / womandom / womanosity. "One's ditzy and adorable, one's stern and serious!" Gee, d'ya think by the end, the ditzy one will learn about responsibility, and the serious one will learn to relax and have fun??? Who knows! Hey Hollywood, women aren't actually fucking stupid and airheaded, they can handle movies of substance, so please, less of the bullshit, and more of the good shit, okay? Thanks. (2) Dramas shouldn't be called dramas if nothing dramatic or interesting happens. Don't try and teach me something important, that's what school is for - I hated school and I hate boring dramas. If it's a drama, show me some drama! Honestly, with the snobbery against genre movies in the industry today, it amazes me that insultingly dim chick flicks and horrendously dull "drama" isn't called out for the lazy bollocks that it is. So this is me, calling it out. It is called. Out. Now go and see Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, it's fantastic.

Okay, it wasn't a quickie, I lied. I LIED! ON PURPOSE! HAHAHAHAAAAA!


Jools said...

Come off it, I bet you watched Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion last week!

James Moran said...

I haven't seen it, thankfully. Do they both learn something by the end of the movie, by any chance?

Jools said...

They learn one of the following:
If you have friends, you can achieve anything
Just cos mommy and daddy are getting divorced, doesn't mean we don't love you
If you believe in yourself, there's nothing you can't do

Hmm, I may be getting confused with the sort of pooey platitudes they come out with on Pokemon or Dragonball Z......

soulmining said...

KKBB... I couldn't have said it better myself. (Thinks for a moment) Actually, I did say it quite well yesterday on my own blog. James, if you're aspiring to be Shane Black then that is undoubtedly a GOOD THING. Genuis. Go and see this movie now!

James Moran said...

At least in Pokemon and Dragonball Z they have a HUGE fight for most of the story, usually involving people turning into giant tentacle beasts. If chick flicks had giant mutant tentacle-beast people fighting, I wouldn't mind.

I fully intend to murder Shane Black and take his place, so all you cops out there, keep an eye out for me, I'm a danger to myself and others. That's how jealous I am. But it comes from a place of love.

K said...

Thought KKBB was okay... A lot of fun, but ultimately a little empty... You'll be jealous when I tell you I was at a Q+A with Shane and the lead actress. He was pretty interesting and she was pretty :-) He said that having tried directing now he's kicking himself that he didn't do it earlier. He was also bitching about the way women get treated in hollywood.

Best films I've seen recently - A History of Violence, Brokeback Mountain and The Proposition. All truly excellent.

But just why do people go to the cinema these days? Went tonight (to see In Her Shoes - I see what you mean but I loved it despite its cliches - I cried most the way through (and I'm a guy (straight))) - but anyway... after first 25 minutes of adverts, 5 minutes of trailers and then teenagers talking, running in and out, mobile phones ringing... aaarrrrggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Industry screenings and home cinema systems I love you.

James Moran said...

Incredibly jealous, you swine! Yeah, she was great, a really solid role, too. Women's roles don't seem to have changed much since the bad old days, they're either forced to play total psychopaths, or utter saps.

The two great things about the KKBB plot are (a) it doesn't matter, it's all about the banter and fun, and (b) it actually holds together and makes sense. I just about managed to hold on to the thread, and it does all work out nicely.

I agree about the annoyances in cinemas these days, but I still go because I love the whole experience, the group thing, the screen, the sound, the sense of occasion, the audience buzz when it's going well. Sometimes idiots spoil it, but that's what concealed weapons are for...