Thursday, November 30, 2006

Votes, votes, give us your votes

Okay, we've all voted (I hope) in the Total Film awards, now it's time to vote in the Empire awards. I present, for your consideration, Severance in the best horror film category, and/or best British film (because every other fucker will be voting for The Queen, because isn't she wonderful and ooh it's like looking into our own lives, they're so special and magical, the country would fall apart if it wasn't for them, here have some of my hard earned tax money to pay for the upkeep of your several palaces, I don't begrudge it in the slightest). Unless of course you didn't like Severance, in which case, obviously, vote for something else. If you did like it, go on, vote us up, they gave us a shitty review but gave Pirates 2 a great one in the same issue, despite both movies being 3 stars, but hey, what do I know about anything.

While you're there, give Pan's Labyrinth a shout out for best Sci-Fi/Fantasy, and London to Brighton a nod for Best Thriller. I leave the other ones to your discretion, so choose wisely. To refresh your memory, here's a list of every movie released in the UK in 2006.

Speaking of which, please go and see Pan's Labyrinth if you haven't already, it's a beautiful piece of work. And opening tomorrow is London To Brighton, written and directed by Mr Paul Andrew Williams, who is down to direct Curfew sometime next year, a horror by an up and coming writer you may have heard of around these parts. London To Brighton is fucking fantastic, and will rip your heart right out of your chest. Amazing performances, stylishly directed from a tight script - cashback. It's not a big 100 million dollar car chase extravaganza, it's a small story about real people, and it deserves to be seen. Go along and support both of these examples of passionate people putting their heart and soul into their work. Thank you.

Writing work, after a long dark period, seems to be on the horizon. Just got commissioned to do an outline for an exciting TV thing, just a single hour long thing, no guarantees etc etc, but it's promising. Got another thing that's just been approved, again no guarantees, but will at least result in one script, whether it goes anywhere is up to many other factors. So things are looking up. But as one door opens...

...another one slams in your face and nicks your pants. My 32 inch LCD TV has just died. Cost 999 quid, big fancy HD jobby, lasted just over a year. Minimum repair cost would be just under 400 quid, *not* including parts, which could be anything from a few pence to "several hundred pounds" on top of that. Madness. I have a 2-year guarantee in the box, which apparently shouldn't have been in there, only their kettles and things get that, so I'm currently fighting with them to get a free repair, seeing as I have the guarantee. Also seeing as ridiculously expensive shit really should last longer than a year. If Philips customer service continues to give me shit, then I'm posting the whole sorry tale here, otherwise I'll let it go. Watch this space. I'm really having trouble coping without a TV, most people would conclude this tale with something wanky like "and to be honest, my life has improved drastically" - well, mine hasn't. I need my fucking TV. I want it back so I can watch stuff. I can't stand it when people snootily insist that not having one makes them a better person, and yet they fucking download all the shows they want to watch or get the DVDs - you're STILL watching TV, just in a slightly different way, so shut your arse. God I wish I could stick to one topic at a time, how do people do that?

And this is the 298th post. We're nearly there. I think for the 300th I'm going to post an article about horror that I've been working on, but I might not finish in time - keep the suggestions coming anyway, just in case.

9 comments:

Bang2Write said...

I have to confess that I haven't seen Severance yet 'cos every time I can get a babysitter I'd sooner have it off than go to the cinema, but rest assured the moment it comes out on DVD it's as good as rented. how's that for fighting Brit films corner eh?? Tell you what, I'll vote for you lot anyway. 'Cos I'm nice like that.

Bang2Write said...

P.S. oh yeah - Knew you must be a friggin millionaire - £999 for a TV??? Mine cost £80 and I got clubcard points. What you must do now is go and buy the £80 one and give the remaining £919 to charity, thus restoring your chi and then your TV will get fixed. Then you won't only have one! How anyone can have one TV is beyond me. That way lies only madness and ultimately, death...

Dom Carver said...

I've got a 42 inch bad boy I bought from a mate for £50. It's not an LCD or anything fancy, but it does it's job.

Sod paying £999 for a TV, if I want an LCD widescreen TV I'll wait until my father-in-law's stops working and he thinks it's broke and goes to buy a new one, like he did the last time. His son has a lovely LCD Widescreen in his livingroom now. On second thoughts, I think I might fiddle with the ariel cable when I go around there at the weekend. Te-he-he!

soulmining said...

Can we vote Severance for 'best comedy' too?

I'd second James's recommendations - saw Pan's Labyrinth for the second time last night, it's my second favourite film of 2006 (after Children Of Men). London To Brighton is also worth checking out, a really gritty character driven drama which also won a British Independent Film Award on Thursday night!

James Moran said...

Yes, vote even if you haven't seen it, because then if you do see it and hate it, I'll have already got your vote, and will laugh evilly. If I was a millionaire, I'd just bin it and buy a bigger one...

Phil: you can vote it in all categories if you want, though best Sci-Fi/Fantasy might be stretching it a tad. Weren't many comedies out this year, not ones I fancied seeing, anyway.

Amanda said...

Okay, registered and voted. I'm such a good evil twin.

Wait, you're the evil one aren't you?

Eh, details.

Saw Pan's for the second time last week and cried like a girl AGAIN at the end. Of course I am a girl so that's ok. Crying is not a sign of weakness. I remain an unfeeling icequeen, dead on the inside. And evil. Yes, I do.

Anonymous said...

Changes are Empire's reviewers didn't see the film either. I saw it and thought it was ace!

Re. TV - serves you right for buying such a stupidly expensive TV you rich bastard. I built an LCD projector heath-robinson-style by taking apart a 15" LCD screen and attaching it to an overhead projector. It rocks and cost about £150.

James Moran said...

Amanda: Presumably they were tears of joy at all the evil being inflicted on people? You being evil, and all? In which case it's a sign of strength. Evil strength. Thank you for voting, the fiver's in the post.

Anon: Cheers! Oh, I know, and if I was still a rich bastard I'd just get another one, but rich bastard-ness comes and goes in this game. You MUST put the details online of how you made your projector thing, that's amazing - did you just stick the screen underneath the projecty bit? I'm trying to figure out how it would work. Instructions! Details! Photos!

Anonymous said...

http://tomshardware.co.uk/2004/11/13/supersize_your_tv_for_/index.html

Hey hey, there's loads of guides to making yourself a projector with overhead projector, but this is the guide I used. The pictures show pretty much what mine looks like. It's fookin great considering.

When you take the LCD apart and separate the screen from the backlight you are left with what looks like a sheet of black glass. When you turn the screen on that black becomes colours (the electricity excites and turns the liquid crystals) and if you hold it up to the light you can see the film happening as if it is suspended in mid-air! So if you put said screen onto an overhead projector like a sheet of acetate, it will be projected up onto the wall (or girlfriend's breasts if you point it at them) (you should at least try). Simple as that.