Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The secret is out

Okay. If you head to your nearest newsagent, and have a look at the new issue of Doctor Who Magazine, on pages 4 and 5 you will see an interesting article about oh bollocks I can't be all calm about it, I'M BLIMMIN WELL DOING AN EPISODE OF DOCTOR WHO! Wahey!

I'm more excited than an excited little boy, hepped up on fizzy cola bottles and Tizer, who's just found out that he's been given his own pet dinosaur. Yes, *more* excited than that. I've been watching the show since I was a kid, love it to bits, and all I can think of right this minute is seeing my younger self sitting scrutinizing the end credits of each episode, being terrified when that bloke's mask came off revealing his spaghetti face and his one big eye, being inconsolable for months when it became clear that no, Tom Baker wasn't coming back, and yes the new bloke really did unravel his scarf to find his way around the TARDIS. I actually screamed at the TV - "it's NOT YOUR scarf, you CAN'T DO THAT". (Later I got over this and appreciated Mr Davison for the brilliant Doctor that he was, and bear him no ill will at all. However my fragile mental state, once fixed, was again shattered when Adric got snuffed out and they had those silent credits over his little broken gold star-- excuse me, think I've got something in my eye...) I love the new version, it makes me feel like a kid again, and I'm incredibly grateful and excited that I get to be involved. I've also been unable to stop singing this song over and over since I heard the news, and why not? Doctor Whooo-oo, Hey! Doc-tor Who, Doctor Whooo-oo, Hey! The TARRRRRDIS!

But that was New Precious Thing - what about Secret TV Thing? Well, that is Torchwood, the spin-off of Who, which I'm also doing an episode of. Got the TW gig in December, and just handed in the latest draft, although there'll be more tweaks right up until filming, which starts this weekend sometime. I only got the Who gig 3 weeks ago, so it's all still shiny and new and not quite real yet. I've been doing TW for a few months now, so am more relaxed and calm about it. Until Friday, when the handsome actors will do a read-through and possibly look at me, making me feel all nervous and unattractive.

I'll be posting about various parts of the process in a *general* way (how I got the jobs, where I'm at, etc), but obviously I cannot say anything about the content, or the general storyline of any of the other episodes of either show, so please don't ask me, the Beeb would place my head upon a spike at their gates as a warning to others. You know me, I'm not a spoiler-boy anyway, but this is especially top secret, so you'll get nothing. In fact, I might kill you just for asking, in case you do a Derren Brown and intuit something out of my involuntary facial movements. So be careful.

Hello to any new readers who will probably arrive here now that my dirty little secret is out! I promise to try not to make a mess of either TW or DW, so don't kill me or anything. Who the hell am I? I wrote Severance, a slasher horror with some funny bits, and am working on several other movie and telly things at the moment (don't worry, my TW or DW eps won't be Severance-style horror-comedy slashers, that would be silly). I love all genres except romantic comedies which make me violently ill, I watch more telly than anyone, too many dodgy movies, documentaries about things that explode or fall over or fall over then explode, and base my moral code on the interview quotes of Kurt Russell and the cop characters of John "woolly jumpers" Saxon. This blog covers my writing exploits, random mutterings, and interesting new swearword combos. It contains much bad language (I've toned it down for this post, but from here on in, you have been warned, I'm not big or clever). I sometimes answer questions on the blog, when I remember to. And I eat too many Marks & Spencers wafer curls. They're just so crunchy and yummy. Dip in, look around, but don't touch my wafer curls, or I'll have you.

56 comments:

Tiffany said...

GAH!! Doctor Who...Torchwood....!! GAH!!! I am in awe. And my husband has requested that you bring back the Master. :-)

Lee said...

Magnificent! Congratulations on the gigs - although after watching Paul Cornell suddenly raise the bar so high on DW, I think I'd be terrified if I were you.

Enjoy, you jammy bastard, you. You've earned it.

Lucy said...

Marks and Spencers is the home of Seriously Chocolate Caramels so must be respected at all times, I can stretch to the wafers if absolutely neccessary, but it's the SCC's that rock. Clearly. I can see all this sci-fi has addled your brains. For shame.

hotzappa11 said...

I already congratulated you but i'm doing it again. Congrats! Oh, and i hate you but i also like you. You've got me on the edge.

Dom Carver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dom Carver said...

Dom's head starts to vibrate, slight at first, but growing in strength. His face flushes crimson and an ear splitting whistle errupts from his ears.

DOM: I fookin' warned you, I did, but you bloody didn't listen, did you?

Dom's head shakes violently until - BANG - he explodes into a cloud of green jealous dust.

The dust floats to the floor forming words.

YOU PIGGIN' LUCKY PIGGIN' BASTARD!!!

The green dust blows away by a sudden gust, which whispers 'Well Done' as it dies down.

Penny Broadhurst said...

Beware the onslaught of the rabid fangirls and bearded geeks.

Hello, I very much enjoyed Severance and look forward to your episodes of DW and TW. I also added you on Myspace. Etc etc.

Paul said...

Congratulations from all your friends at Fantastic Fest! I can't wait to see your episode(s), and hope for more.

(BTW, I must admit that in recent weeks I've bought not only an electronic Sonic Screwdriver toy, but also a talking Tardis money bank that lights up and makes The Sound. Geek joy is mine!)

Bill Reed said...

Well, you seem like a fun, clever chap, so okay, I'll let you write for Who, but if you break anything, I will hunt you down.

Ha ha. Joking. I have people for that.

Good luck in your televisual endeavors! Severance sounds like fun, actually. I will have to see it.

Cheers.

Colin said...

Hi,

Just dropped in from scaryDoctorWhofan central to say good luck with the gig. Both of them:).

Jai Parker said...

Congratulations James! I took a look at reviews for 'Severence' and now can't wait to see your Dr.Who and Torchwood stories.

Once again, congratulations!

jackharkness said...

Congrats James! Head on over to the Torchwood.tv blog anytime you feel - we'd love to have a Torchwood celebrity on our pages!

potdoll said...

Dear Fun, Clever Chap.

WELL DONE! I can't wait to brag about you to my mate's kids!

David Bishop said...

Sigh. And the envy shade of green is so not my colour.

Good work, fella!

Josiah said...

Congratulations, and welcome to the madhouse!

(scurries off to Outpost Gallifrey to start rumour that James Moran's Doctor Who episode will feature Scaroth knitting the Fourth Doctor's scarf together...)

soulmining said...

Hurrah! It's Torchwood, the news is out at last, hurrah! Well do--HANG ON A BLOOMIN' MINUTE YOU JUST SAID DOCTOR WHO!! (Picks jaw up off floor) Well done matey, I'm so excited for you! This is fantastic news, I always thought you'd be the perfect man for the job...

(No pressure)

(But seriously, well done you!)

Amanda said...

How your subterfuge pained me... at last the healing can begin.

Super-spiffy-splendid. Couldn't think of a person more perfectly suited to whe world of Who.

Stuart Perry said...

Further congratulations, James, and - you know - a smidgin of envy ;-)

Amanda_S said...

Congrats. Can't wait to see your Torchwood episode. Here's hoping Ianto gets some decent screentime. He was criminally underused in season one.

james henry said...

CURSE YOU MORAN.

Don't fuck it up.

hexacontium said...

Congratulations. Great to hear they hired yet another fan boy to write an episode for Who. can't go wrong then, can it?

Cheers,
Hexa

lou said...

dude. oh man. dude. best news i've heard in a long time. i spent hours of my childhood hiding behind the sofa, and i expect your episode of dr who to make me tremble with fear, too. and snort with laughter. no pressure.

Peter Pan said...

Well done fella.
*looks around* Hm, I like your style... you funny .. think I shall stick around!
Paul

jellybean said...

Awesome. Congrats, James!

Piers said...

WA-HEY! That's double-magnificent news!

:)

Much congratulations.

You get the tizer in, the rest of us'll club together for a dinosaur.

Because you deserve one.

far away said...

fabtastic!

Phillip Barron said...

I'm very jealous.

I don't have much to say other than that. Anything else would just be a torrent of swear words and there may be kids around now.

Phillip Barron said...

Oh yeah, congratulations.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. Thoroughly enjoyed severance. A brilliant film. Now if only they'd got you in to do the TW episode in series 1 with the cannibals. Ho hum.

Looking forward to seeing your contributions to both.

Martine Martin said...

Oh boy, I'm jealous beyond belief but this couldn't happen to a better writer. Loved Severence big time. Love Torchwood. Therefore I'd love some of your unique humour being injected into the show more than anything.

Congrats!

kaiki said...

holy moly.
this is the work of some hoodoo magic, surely ?
wrap yourself in several thick layers of smugness - well done.

Robin Kelly said...

I was hoping it was Torchwood but Doctor Who as well is fantastic.

Well done, I can't wait to see them so email me the scripts when you get a chance, cheers!

Laura Anderson said...

Wow, that's flipping cool. To write for either show would be really good - but to write for BOTH!??!

I'm a little envious.

Your wafers are safe from me - I distrust wafers and anything containing them, even chocolate.

Dom Carver said...

JAMES HENERY: Don't fuck it up!

Hahahahahaha, nothing like piling on the pressure.

Yes, James, we're all thinking the same thing.

Please stop shaking and come out of the corner, youll be fine :-)

Anonymous said...

I KNEW IT!!! Or at least (because it was you), I really hoped that Dr. Who was someway involved in one of the "secret" things.

I know your love for the show and have every confidence that you will not screw it up! ;)

Props to you from Austin, TX.
-Rae

Lee said...

Too bad the show's BEEN CANCELLED!

(see The Sun)

It's the Moran curse. He's cursed, I tells ya.

Dom Carver said...

Stop lying, you nearly had me in tears :-P

Ruth said...

Do you know, I had a feeling it was Doctor Who. Congratulations! This is so exciting. I would have wet myself if I had been in your shoes when I heard the news. Please snog David Tennant for me if you get the opportunity.

Neal Romanek said...

How rocking of you!

Good on you, homie!

Aaron Priest said...

I Knew it!!! Mainly because that was the only uk series i know, so it was the only one that came to mind when you said it ;)

Good Luck, Don't Listen to anyone else, and make sure you include a scarf somewhere, ok?

Anonymous said...

From your writing on your blog, I'm already eagerly awaiting your DW episode! Good Luck

Bill Cunningham said...

...don't worry, my TW or DW eps won't be Severance-style horror-comedy slashers, that would be silly.

Not on Torchwood - it would be magnificent...

Then have the entire cast of survivors be on the next episode of NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS.

Congratulations!

B said...

Did all this fab tv stuff happen because of Severance?

Martin said...

Fairly got people commenting, didn't it?

Doctor Who series 4? (yeah, i know it's not 4, but 4 of the new ones).

Torchwood was a bit hit and miss last time around, hopefully yours will be more of a hit. :)

Oli said...

Super-awesome congratulations. You're about to become part of a TV institution. My jealously would cause me to vomit, if I didn't already have food poisoning.

wen said...

Congratulations! How exciting for you. It's always thrilling ot see a fellow geek get on in the world ;) Would you believe I just rewatched that one-eyed, spaghetti-faced alien series of eps two days ago?

I can't believe I'm old enough to remember my similar horror when Baker left. Sigh. Enjoy yourself on DW and TW. I'm insanely jelous.

Blarneyman said...

Congrats.

Rosby said...

Doctor Who AND Torchwood? Congratulations!

And re: the Torchwood readthrough, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, make eye contact with Gareth David-Lloyd or John Barrowman for too long. They are part of the handsome demographic, and you may get lost if you stare too long.

Laligin said...

Well, as one complete stranger (and also DW/TW fan) to another, I congratulate you. I'm also near-dead with envy, and I'll keep an eye out for your name on the opening credits of both series, and pay extra-special attention to that episode. You do sound fun, so I hope you'll do alright.

And no doubt you're more than aware of the fan expectations for Torchwood series two, so I'll strongly resist the temptation and not say a word. You know what you're doing.

Or you'd better, at least. ;)

Don't suppose you'd care to share the circumstances that led to you being given this delightful opportunity? For the dreamers and hopefuls among us...

Anyway, much good luck, and many good ideas to you!

- Lali

Sylvia said...

Minimac (8) likes things simple - she's a big fan.
She's also very curious as to why David Tennant doesn't speak in Scottish.
I've never actually sat through an episode - I'm too busy cooking the dinner.....

We had to persuade her that Torchwood was very boring and she wouldn't like it. Think we got away with it.....

Good luck!

James Moran said...

Blimey, and double-blimey with a side order of blimey! Thanks everyone, you're all lovely and good looking and excellent things should happen to you. Seriously, I'm really chuffed by all the good vibes, and I'll do my very best to live up to expectations.

I'll do a separate post about how I got the jobs, as it's a long, rambling story with random digressions. But first, the read-through post - which will be in a day or two, as I've got bucketloads of stuff to finish over the weekend. Expect many updates soon!

Dan said...

Have I arrived at this party significantly late enough to be fashionable?

Well done, sir. Consider my cap doffed in your general direction.

Aaron Priest said...

Wow! The second ep of the Torchwood season too... Doesnt even matter if you screw that one up then ;)... Not that you will.. we're all fully confident in you!

Jools not James said...

You still smell of wee!

Joy Fleisig said...

Mazel Tov, James! I'll bet your episode is fabulous. And if it isn't we'll hunt you down and kill you. ;-)

OK, we know Blonde is Helen Raynor, so are you Geordie, Old, or Pink? And can you reveal which episode number you'll be writing?

James Moran said...

Cheers again everyone, except my sister Jools, who is actually the one who smells of wee...

Don't think I'm any of those - I'm not a Geordie, not old enough to be old, unless 35 is old, and I'm sure I'm not pink. I think those notes were written before I got the job, so I don't think any of them are me. Or maybe they're ALL me?? Booga booga booga!

Don't know if I'm allowed to say what episode number, so I'll keep schtum for now, sorry - they've cleared away a few of the heads on spikes at the BBC, one is reserved for me in case I give anything away. They regularly send me polaroids of it, just as a reminder...