Okay. If you head to your nearest newsagent, and have a look at the new issue of Doctor Who Magazine, on pages 4 and 5 you will see an interesting article about oh bollocks I can't be all calm about it, I'M BLIMMIN WELL DOING AN EPISODE OF DOCTOR WHO! Wahey!
I'm more excited than an excited little boy, hepped up on fizzy cola bottles and Tizer, who's just found out that he's been given his own pet dinosaur. Yes, *more* excited than that. I've been watching the show since I was a kid, love it to bits, and all I can think of right this minute is seeing my younger self sitting scrutinizing the end credits of each episode, being terrified when that bloke's mask came off revealing his spaghetti face and his one big eye, being inconsolable for months when it became clear that no, Tom Baker wasn't coming back, and yes the new bloke really did unravel his scarf to find his way around the TARDIS. I actually screamed at the TV - "it's NOT YOUR scarf, you CAN'T DO THAT". (Later I got over this and appreciated Mr Davison for the brilliant Doctor that he was, and bear him no ill will at all. However my fragile mental state, once fixed, was again shattered when Adric got snuffed out and they had those silent credits over his little broken gold star-- excuse me, think I've got something in my eye...) I love the new version, it makes me feel like a kid again, and I'm incredibly grateful and excited that I get to be involved. I've also been unable to stop singing this song over and over since I heard the news, and why not? Doctor Whooo-oo, Hey! Doc-tor Who, Doctor Whooo-oo, Hey! The TARRRRRDIS!
But that was New Precious Thing - what about Secret TV Thing? Well, that is Torchwood, the spin-off of Who, which I'm also doing an episode of. Got the TW gig in December, and just handed in the latest draft, although there'll be more tweaks right up until filming, which starts this weekend sometime. I only got the Who gig 3 weeks ago, so it's all still shiny and new and not quite real yet. I've been doing TW for a few months now, so am more relaxed and calm about it. Until Friday, when the handsome actors will do a read-through and possibly look at me, making me feel all nervous and unattractive.
I'll be posting about various parts of the process in a *general* way (how I got the jobs, where I'm at, etc), but obviously I cannot say anything about the content, or the general storyline of any of the other episodes of either show, so please don't ask me, the Beeb would place my head upon a spike at their gates as a warning to others. You know me, I'm not a spoiler-boy anyway, but this is especially top secret, so you'll get nothing. In fact, I might kill you just for asking, in case you do a Derren Brown and intuit something out of my involuntary facial movements. So be careful.
Hello to any new readers who will probably arrive here now that my dirty little secret is out! I promise to try not to make a mess of either TW or DW, so don't kill me or anything. Who the hell am I? I wrote Severance, a slasher horror with some funny bits, and am working on several other movie and telly things at the moment (don't worry, my TW or DW eps won't be Severance-style horror-comedy slashers, that would be silly). I love all genres except romantic comedies which make me violently ill, I watch more telly than anyone, too many dodgy movies, documentaries about things that explode or fall over or fall over then explode, and base my moral code on the interview quotes of Kurt Russell and the cop characters of John "woolly jumpers" Saxon. This blog covers my writing exploits, random mutterings, and interesting new swearword combos. It contains much bad language (I've toned it down for this post, but from here on in, you have been warned, I'm not big or clever). I sometimes answer questions on the blog, when I remember to. And I eat too many Marks & Spencers wafer curls. They're just so crunchy and yummy. Dip in, look around, but don't touch my wafer curls, or I'll have you.