Friday, May 18, 2007

Severance out in US and Canada today!

Hey kids! Severance opens in America and Canada today, 18th May! Wahey! Etc! Comedy limb-lopping, decapitation and flame-deaths ahoy! With some political subtext, of course - but political subtext smeared onto a fork and RAMMED INTO YOUR EYE! Ooh, that smarts!

Here's the US trailer, with violence and funny bits!

Check out the great review in Fangoria, here! "Delightfully funny and frightful", apparently. They love a bit of the old comedy ultra-violence!

Not convinced?? Why not watch the first 3 minutes online here?

Once you've done that, run, don't walk, over to this page here for cinema dates and places!

If you live in the US of A or the Canad of a, try and check it out. If you do, please let me know what you thought, and/or what the general cinema reaction was. It's opening small and "going wide" gradually, so be patient, it'll get to you eventually. And yes, "going wide" does sound rude, don't think I haven't thought of several jokes about that already.

Whatever you do, get yourself to the nearest cinema showing it, and have a rollicking good time! You know it makes sense!

Disclaimer: Your definition of "rollicking good time" may differ from that of the screenwriter, Qwerty, Pathe, Magnolia Pictures, cinema staff, and the guy who coughed into your popcorn when asking if you wanted extra butter or if you were content with merely the 4 cups of butter already in there. Severance the movie is not a toy, and should not be ingested, used in a non-ventilated area, or given to children. In case of contact with skin, wash the contaminated area, lie down, cry, and soil yourself. Comedy limb-lopping, decapitation and flame-deaths are performed by trained professionals, and should not be attempted without a safety net, biscuit barrel, or trained ostrich-wrangler. Do not feed the screenwriter. Objects in mirror may be KILLER MONKEYS. Dryclean only, do not wash with the tears of innocent children, except on Tuesdays. Not to be used to dispose of corpses, whether dead by natural causes or murder. Void where prohibited, or naked. Never, unless always. Touch me, touch me, I want to feel your body, your heart beats next to mine, touch me, touch me now. Severance the movie is not your friend, but it cares about you. Severance the movie is not a substitute for a calorie-controlled diet. Consult your doctor before doing anything. Do not sneak up on Severance the movie, unless you have naughty intentions, in which case wear The Special Outfit. Do not operate heavy machinery while watching Severance the movie. Severance the movie will not make you more attractive, in fact it may disfigure you for life. In the event of disfigurement for life, Severance the movie is not liable for any life-disfigurement you may experience. Severance the movie may cause incontinence, gigantism, rain, and sideburns. Your statutory rights are very much affected, and will never be the same again. Any resemblance to anything is merely coincidental, you just imagined it, and probably have some sort of mental illness that causes these types of hallucination. Severance the movie is provided for entertainment purposes only, any sexual favours provided are between you and Severance the movie, and not legally binding. Screenwriter is not liable for any injury, maiming, death or destruction resulting from watching Severance the movie, unless screenwriter directly causes it, like that time he chopped a guys arms off for using a mobile phone in the cinema. By reading this disclaimer you hereby absolve screenwriter of any responsibility should he ransack your house, hold you for ransom, or kill your friends. Disclaimer ends.

5 comments:

Belzecue said...

James, you are all seventeen flavours of icecream pants, God bless you. :-)

Congrats on the U.S. release and good fortune at the b/o.

Jason Arnopp said...

Hey dude at da super-duper-early Severance screenin I went 2 in Philly at 3am this mornin demonz came outta da screen and started killin every1! They wuz pokin blind mens eyes out n burstin outta peoples bax! WTF? OMG! LMAO! It was pretty cool to watch but now Im kinda fucked up n shit. Got no legz. Or head. Can I sue u guyz?

kaiki said...

james, congratulations on the release stateside, i'm going to be keeping an eye cocked (is that possible ? to cock an eye ?)on how it goes over there, very well done.
'severance the movie may cause incontinence, gigantism, rain, and sideburns'- it did all of these things to me...at the same damn time.

Neal Romanek said...

Awesome! Congrats.

Lucy said...

"Do not sneak up on Severance the movie, unless you have naughty intentions, in which case wear The Special Outfit."

Damn, you got me.