Thursday, March 05, 2009

"I'm 37, I'm not *old*..."

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Me-Me Me Me Me Meeeee-
Me-Me Me Me Me ME.

Today, it is my birthday, so I expect cash, gifts, and undying allegiance. Mainly cash. And yes, like Dennis, I'm 37, I'm not *old*...

This is me, a couple of birthdays back, getting a superb Hulk toy - you tie his arms, put him in a breakaway cage, then pump up his muscles using the attached pump. When they inflate enough, the arms break free from the twist-tie, and smash open the cage. There was even a velcro shirt which would rip open. It was fucking brilliant. Check me out, playing with the Hulk, and rocking the loose white vest look:


And this is a special gift from fellow Twitterer @Absolute_Tash - I was demanding coffee, and she suggested that I have some Hoffee instead. I thought this was an excellent idea, so she made me a jar of Hoffee:


Oh yeah. You know you want to drink some.

Anyway, as it is my birthday, I expect to be humoured and treated like a king for the day. You may all tell me how brilliant and amazing I am, because I'm the Birthday Boy and that is what I demand. And I'll probably milk it for at least a week. Now, if you'll excuse me, cake beckons. Also booze.

24 comments:

Peter A said...

Eww! No Hoffee for me thank you. Especially if you're offering creamer.

Cunningham said...

Happy Birthday!

I was 37 once...I'm so much younger than that now.

Re: Hoffee - You sir are a disgusting specimen of humanity to post that pic. I'm proud to call you friend.

Robin Kelly said...

Happy birthday! I'm giving you my undying allegiance. I've thought of giving you lots of cash and gifts as well but decided not to. But it's the thought that counts, as I'm sure you'd agree.

Dom Carver said...

I remember 37, it was a good year. I was care free and happy for most of it, then I got married. Now I have to share everything, even my Guinness :-(

40 in April, I'm awaiting the senility to set in and the incontinence pants have been ordered from Tescos.

Nicole said...

You're awesome, your not old, and it's your day to PARTY!

Tara said...

I'm 35. So you're older than me. FOREVER.

Hoffee SCARES ME OMG.

Melissa said...

Happy Birthday!

Anonymous said...

Worshiping you and your awesome thirty-sevenishness.

Happy Happy Birthday!!!

-Rae

Adaddinsane said...

37 old? How dare you.

A mere child.

I am secure in my own sexuality, I can drink Hoffee without feeling threatened - I'll take a mug.

(oooh errr).

pike2 said...

Happy Birthday - Oh, how I remember 37, best order the zimmer now! Hey they may do a Hoff version of that too, orange with the Baywatch theme blasting out as you shuffle down the path, a hollowed out float to put your shopping in and maybe a chest hair vest to keep out the cold...

Boy, I need a coffee

Anyway have a good one - sneaks back into the ether of the net.

Lara said...

A most Happy One to you! x

Lee said...

Wow, you haven't changed at all, vest and everything.

Have a rockin' birthday, sir.

Darren Goldsmith said...

Happy Birthday Mr. Moran!

Danny Stack said...

Happy Birthday soldier! Keep fighting the good fight.

Michelle Goode said...

Happy Birthday!

Dozeymagz said...

I was going to wish you 'many happy returns' but what does that REALLY mean? Returns? Return train tickets? Return to a misspent youth? Taking something back to M&S? So that would just be silly - so I shall send you fluffy birthday greetings instead!

besanamo said...

Happy birthday!

Rosby said...

Happy birthday, James! Hope you had a great time and enjoy your Hoffee Pot. All the best people have birthdays in March...

At the risk of stroking your ego, you're exactly where I'd like to be twenty years from now; I've wanted to be a screenwriter for as long as I can remember, and have always been been apprehensive about the ruthlessness of the film and TV businesses. Your confidence and frankness and hard work is completely inspirational to me as an aspiring writer, and your success shows how much fun it can be! So, thank you for that; it gives me the confidence to want to give it a try as well. Hope you keep writing for years to come!

molleo said...

Happy birthday, sir! And thanks for all your writing. I'm just a tad older than you,but certainly lacking in your street cred. :)

teaboyfan said...

Happy Birthday! Thanks for your excellent work for Torchwood, especially the BBCA Captain's Blog, which has added greatly to my enjoyment. However, if you hurt Ianto all good wishes are off.

Anne

Steve Barber said...

"I'm not *old*".

Yes.I said tht at 37 as well, James. I also said "I'm not fat".

The intervening years have not been kind.

Be afraid. Be very afraid mon ami.

SB

Dim said...

We have a tradition that the birthday person is King/Queen for the day (delete as appropriate.) I salute you in retrospect.

Jay said...

Hope you've been having a great b'day! Mmm... cakey booze... boozy cake...

James Moran said...

Thank you all, for the lovely birthday wishes (even though I demanded them in quite an unseemly fashion).

Rosby: You're welcome, glad to be of help. Don't worry about the ruthlessness, just keep writing and rewriting, and let your work speak for itself. And carry a big stick.