Monday, February 20, 2012

Hardware clearout

Right, I have a few things to sell that I'm not using anymore, and can't face going on eBay for several hours, so I'm doing it on Twitter and here, if anyone's interested. I can't send any of them through the post, as they'd either get mashed to bits, or I'd get stitched up for postal fees, so you MUST be able to collect from London - I'll bring them anywhere in London within reason! If anyone does want to buy any of these, I can take payment via Paypal, or cash in person when delivering. The items:

My first Apple Mac, an old iBook G4 - white, 12.1 inch screen, 1.2GHz PowerPC G4, 512MB DDR SDRAM, 30GB hard drive (just under 12GB taken up by the operating system), with OS X Panther 10.3.9 installed. I wrote the last drafts of Severance on it, as well as my first Torchwood episode (Sleeper), my Doctor Who episode (The Fires of Pompeii), and my Spooks: Code 9 episode. None of those are included, I mention it partly because you might be interested, and partly so that you know it served me reliably and well. Full specs here:  

Note that it's a PowerPC model, so it's pre-Intel, and quite old now. It still works fine, with no problems or damage, apart from some understandable scuffing from being used every day, and the ink has worn away on the C, N, M, and L keys (did a loooot of typing on this keyboard!) But is has been VERY well looked after, and is in great condition - it has been protected by a grey Tucano Second Skin slipcase, which is included. The battery still works, but is also quite old, so doesn't last as long as new ones (about 2 hours, but you can get replacements on eBay for 15 quid). Comes with power cable, but again, no disks or other bits. Bizarrely, these iBooks still go for up to £250 on eBay, but I'll accept a reasonable offer, considering what it was used to create.

Next up, is an older PowerBook G4, 15 inch, silver, 1.5GHz with 512MB RAM, 80GB hard drive, and a SuperDrive. Full specs here: 

BUT, it had a spectacular hard drive crash a few years ago, and won't boot, even in target disk mode. The lower third of the screen is damaged inside too, and the SuperDrive was on its way out before the machine died. However, everything else seems to still work - but I can't tell, as it won't boot. So if you need some parts for your PowerBook, this could be handy. Just in case you missed all that: this does NOT work or even boot. It'll turn on, make a horrible grinding noise, the screen will go blue, but nothing else. It's just for parts - and there's no power cable. I'll be removing the hard drive before delivery, just in case, as I wasn't able to wipe it before it crashed. I'll take what I can get for it.

Lexmark Z1420 printer, with separate black and colour ink cartridges (inside machine, with one spare colour cartridge included) - full specs here:
It cost around £50 new, usually goes for about £20 used on eBay.

Canon CanoScan LiDE 100 scanner - full specs here: 
It cost around £75 new, usually goes for about £50 used on eBay.

Update! Macbook has been sold.
First up, is a 13.3 inch white Apple MacBook, 2GHz Intel Core 2 Duo, 2GB 667MHz DDR2 SDRAM, 120GB hard drive, working SuperDrive CD/DVD-RW, with Snow Leopard 10.6.8 installed. Full specs here:

It was my previous laptop, I wrote some Children of Earth on it, as well as Primeval, Spooks, Crusoe, Girl Number 9, Cockneys Vs Zombies, Tower Block, and many more (note: they are not included, this is just in case it's of interest, and also to show that it has been used safely). It still works very nicely, apart from some issues: the battery is dead, because it's been sitting unused for several weeks, and I didn't realise you have to remove it at 50% and store it somewhere. So you'll need a new battery for it. The latest software update occasionally drops the screen brightness to zero for no reason - you have to wait a few seconds, dim it all the way down, then back up again. See other people with the same issue here: -it's a minor thing, doesn't happen a lot, but can be annoying when it does. The other thing is some minor case damage - it's the model just before the unibodies came out, so it's got two chips on the edge of the top casing - there are photos here so you can see for yourself. Apart from that, it's all working fine. I don't know where the disks or accessories are, but it comes with its own power cable, so you'll have to make do! Used ones in decent condition go for around £340 on eBay, it was £899 new, so I'll listen to reasonable offers considering you'll need to get your own battery.

Update! Camcorder is now sold.
Finally, for now, is a Sony MiniDV camcorder, DCR-HC18E. It comes with a battery, the charger, a DV to FireWire 400 cable, and an extra Sony wide conversion lens which can be attached (VCL-0625 S) for wide angle shots. It takes MiniDV tapes (none included), and is a nifty little device. Full specs here: 

They usually go on eBay for around £50, the lens usually goes for up to £20, so I'm open to offers for them both - only selling them together, unless someone desperately wants one or the other.

If you have any questions, or want to buy one or more things, the email is jamesmoranspork at gmail dot com, or leave a comment and I'll answer it there. Serious inquiries only, please, I'm doing it on here to save time, after all. Cheers!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Severance on BBC iPlayer again

Severance is on the iPlayer for a week - they showed it again last night on BBC One, so you get it free for another 7 days.

This time, I did a live tweet-along commentary, on the Twitter - well, I did until 20 minutes before the end, when I went over my tweet rate limit, and got sent to Twitter jail for a few hours. It's very annoying when that happens, I understand why it does, to prevent bots and spammers going wild etc, but there must be another solution.

Someone suggested doing a live Google+ hangout next time, so I could do an actual talky commentary, which is a great idea. Then again, doing it on Twitter means I don't have to get dressed and look respectable. But I think next time something of mine is on, I'll do that. Maybe not Severance, as 90 minutes of talking could be a bit mad. But my Doctor Who, Torchwood and Primeval eps are regularly repeated, maybe I'll do the next one of those.

If you missed it, the tweets are all still there, so if anyone wants to compile them all into one place (with Storify or something), feel free. I'd do it myself but I'm knackered. It's still a victory, as Danny Dyer became a trending topic for a while again, and we all managed to get #Severance trending as a hashtag, which is marvellous.

Thanks for all the lovely comments, always great to see people enjoying the movie. 6 years old this year! Blimey. Feels like yesterday, but also a million years ago, in a weird way.

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Contains strong language

WARNING: This blog post is about rude words in scripts. It is quite sweary. Please look away while reading it, and if you DO read it, make sure you don't ever have children.

Recently I found this list of the top 50 sweariest movies - where they use the word "fuck" and its variants at least 150 times. 99 movies in all, and very fucking sweary they are, too. Although I don't think the top one really counts, as it's a documentary about the word "fuck", rather than characters using it in dialogue. But I'm just jealous because they get to swear a lot, and swearing is fun.

Now, I've often wondered if my characters swear too much in scripts, so I opened up the final shooting draft of Severance to count up the fucks. I thought there'd be a lot, certainly enough to get into the over-150 list. But there were only 56! And it was quite a sweary movie! But 56 seemed very low, for a 95 minute movie. There's an Insane Clown Posse song that has 93 fucks in less than 4 minutes! This blog post alone has 22 fucks (including that one)! For shame, Moran. For shame.

It sounded a bit better when I counted up the shits and cocks, too: 56 fucks, 20 shits, and 9 cocks. Then I remembered that we trimmed some out just before filming, so I went back to my earlier, slightly longer draft - but that only had 65 fucks, 23 shits, 5 cocks, and 1 wank. So while I'd lost 9 fucks, 3 shits and a wank, I'd somehow gained 4 cocks.

That might just be my favourite sentence ever.

Anyway. I then had to go and check the Cockneys Vs Zombies script, as I know there was a lot more swearing in that - we've got Alan Ford in it, for fuck's sake, playing a Cockney, in a zombie movie, if you don't give him any swearwords, then you have FAILED as a writer. So it's pretty fucking sweary. Sadly, when I checked my final draft, I still didn't have enough fucks to make it on to the list of 150-fucks and over. But still, there were a lot. More than Severance, definitely. So I'm getting there, slowly. Tower Block also has more fucks than Severance, but less than Cockneys.

When talking about this on Twitter, I didn't want to give away how many fucks were in either script, so I decided to have a little competition: Guess the fuck-count! Now, I don't know how many will end up in the final movies, due to editing, trims, people throwing in extra ones in the heat of the moment, etc - maybe more, maybe less, I don't know. And it'll be hard to count up all the swearing in each movie, until they're out on DVD and I can talk someone else into doing it. So let's stick to the final script versions, and work out the finished movie counts later, for fun.

I've already told you CvsZ and Tower Block have more fucks than Severance, but not enough to get onto the 150-fucks or over list, so that gives you a range of 57 to 149. For each movie, give me your best guesses on how many fucks, shits, cocks, and wanks are in each one. There's also *1* extra mystery swearword not on the lists, that only features once in one of the two movies - see if you can guess what that is, and which movie it's in.

A reminder of the Severance figures:

56 fucks
20 shits
9 cocks
0 wanks

Based on my final shooting script, how many of each does Cockneys Vs Zombies have? How many does Tower Block have? What is the 1 mystery swearword, and which of the two is it in?

You have until the first public screening of either movie to guess, in comments on this post, after which comments will be closed to avoid cheating (people who've seen either movie will have an unfair advantage).

The prize will be fame and fortune (i.e. a mention on this blog, fame and fortune not guaranteed). You can enter from any country, one entry per person, per comment. Entries can only be added here to this post.

Now go and start fucking guessing, you fucks!