Wednesday, October 24, 2012

CvsZ & Tower Block swear count update

Warning! Contains bad language! Lots of it!

Cockneys Vs Zombies is now out on DVD, Blu-ray, iTunes, and all sorts, and the publicity folks have put together a really fun infographic covering all the deaths, kills, bites, swears, litres of blood used in the movie, and many more besides.

I helped to contribute to the data, including the "how to survive" bit, but spare a thought for Emma in the office, who had to sit down with a DVD and count all the fucks, kills, limb loppings, etc. We haven't heard from her since. Apparently she went feral, and is now living in a forest.

A while back I posted a competition to guess how many swears were in Cockneys and Tower Block - go read the post, so you know what I'm on about. Go on, I'll wait.

Are you finished yet? No? Oh, okay. I'll wait longer.

You're back! Good. Now it's time to reveal the answers. These are just the ones in the script, the final movies have different amounts, and other smaller swears, but you'll have to count them yourself to find out. Based on the final shooting drafts of each movie, the swear counts are as follows:

Cockneys Vs Zombies
129 fucks
44 shits
5 cocks
1 wank

Tower Block
84 fucks
23 shits
4 cocks
0 wanks

The one mystery swear word not listed was "cunt", which is in Tower Block once (and I think twice in the finished movie).

I'm surprised that the final movie fuck count is so close to the script - 130 as opposed to 129 - several more were improvised on set, and several were trimmed here and there, so it's interesting that it ended up being about the same. I'd love to know how many of the other ones made it in, but someone else will have to count those, sitting with a DVD and a notepad. But this competition was about the shooting drafts of the scripts.

So who had the best guess? From the comments section, only Chuck correctly guessed the mystery word, and which movie it was in, but was way off with the other ones. Only Dave Scullion guessed that Tower Block would have zero wanks, and that CvsZ would have 5 cocks, but none of his other guesses were right. Jane had the closest Tower Block fuck count with 89, but didn't make any other guesses. Good work all of you, you get a respectful nod and a cheeky wink.

But ShaunaJ was closest the most often - guessing 130 fucks for CvsZ (scarily accurate) and 5 cocks, and 16 shits (as opposed to 23) for Tower Block. So I think I'll have to declare ShaunaJ the winner. Well done, ShaunaJ! As promised, your prize is fame and fortune, in the form of a mention on this blog. But if you get in touch (email details at the Contact link above) I'll see if there's anything small I can send you. It'll be small and cheap, as I am but a starving artiste who dines on DREAMS and WHIMSY.

Hope you all enjoyed the sweary revelations, and please spread the infographic around, I think it's very cool. Cheers!

***Update!*** Emma has been in touch again, with what we think is the full, definitive CvsZ swear count from the finished movie:

130 fucks
20 shits
0 cocks
1 wank (in the form of wanker)
13 pisses
3 tits
1 git
1 twat
4 bollocks
3 pricks
4 bitches
1 dickbag
3 bloody hells
7 bastards

So now we know...