Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!

It's Halloween! Happy Halloween! Do me a favour, please, just for today. Watch a scary movie. Or a silly splattery movie. Or a tense, freaky movie. Or a fun monster movie. Anything you'd find in the Horror section. Watch it alone, or with friends. But watch with the electric lights off. Light a few candles. Maybe watch a creepy short film to get you in the mood, like this, or this, or this, or all three of them in a row. And celebrate the long, glorious history of the horror genre, a genre that will never die, just like a successful franchise monster.

The photos below are the work of Mr Martin Clark - it's a carving of the bus poster from CvsZ! He was one of our brilliant zombies from the movie, and you can go tell him how clever he is at his Twitter profile here.

Before adding the candle:


And after:


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

CvsZ & Tower Block swear count update

Warning! Contains bad language! Lots of it!

Cockneys Vs Zombies is now out on DVD, Blu-ray, iTunes, and all sorts, and the publicity folks have put together a really fun infographic covering all the deaths, kills, bites, swears, litres of blood used in the movie, and many more besides.

I helped to contribute to the data, including the "how to survive" bit, but spare a thought for Emma in the office, who had to sit down with a DVD and count all the fucks, kills, limb loppings, etc. We haven't heard from her since. Apparently she went feral, and is now living in a forest.

A while back I posted a competition to guess how many swears were in Cockneys and Tower Block - go read the post, so you know what I'm on about. Go on, I'll wait.

Are you finished yet? No? Oh, okay. I'll wait longer.

You're back! Good. Now it's time to reveal the answers. These are just the ones in the script, the final movies have different amounts, and other smaller swears, but you'll have to count them yourself to find out. Based on the final shooting drafts of each movie, the swear counts are as follows:

Cockneys Vs Zombies
129 fucks
44 shits
5 cocks
1 wank

Tower Block
84 fucks
23 shits
4 cocks
0 wanks

The one mystery swear word not listed was "cunt", which is in Tower Block once (and I think twice in the finished movie).

I'm surprised that the final movie fuck count is so close to the script - 130 as opposed to 129 - several more were improvised on set, and several were trimmed here and there, so it's interesting that it ended up being about the same. I'd love to know how many of the other ones made it in, but someone else will have to count those, sitting with a DVD and a notepad. But this competition was about the shooting drafts of the scripts.

So who had the best guess? From the comments section, only Chuck correctly guessed the mystery word, and which movie it was in, but was way off with the other ones. Only Dave Scullion guessed that Tower Block would have zero wanks, and that CvsZ would have 5 cocks, but none of his other guesses were right. Jane had the closest Tower Block fuck count with 89, but didn't make any other guesses. Good work all of you, you get a respectful nod and a cheeky wink.

But ShaunaJ was closest the most often - guessing 130 fucks for CvsZ (scarily accurate) and 5 cocks, and 16 shits (as opposed to 23) for Tower Block. So I think I'll have to declare ShaunaJ the winner. Well done, ShaunaJ! As promised, your prize is fame and fortune, in the form of a mention on this blog. But if you get in touch (email details at the Contact link above) I'll see if there's anything small I can send you. It'll be small and cheap, as I am but a starving artiste who dines on DREAMS and WHIMSY.

Hope you all enjoyed the sweary revelations, and please spread the infographic around, I think it's very cool. Cheers!

***Update!*** Emma has been in touch again, with what we think is the full, definitive CvsZ swear count from the finished movie:

130 fucks
20 shits
0 cocks
1 wank (in the form of wanker)
13 pisses
3 tits
1 git
1 twat
4 bollocks
3 pricks
4 bitches
1 dickbag
3 bloody hells
7 bastards

So now we know...

Monday, October 22, 2012

Cockneys Vs Zombies on DVD & Blu-ray now!

Cockneys Vs Zombies is out on DVD and Blu-ray in the UK and Ireland from today!

Amazon seem to have the best offers, on DVD and Blu-ray. It's also available on iTunes to buy or rent, in standard and high definition. You can even buy it in actual shops. The soundtrack is also available online now, or as a CD on the 5th November here.

There's a making-of documentary, a zombie school featurette, and the trailer - but unfortunately no commentaries. BUT - I'm going to record a commentary myself, and put it online for free, so you can sync it up and watch. For you! Because you're lovely!

Other countries: we will have news for you VERY soon, watch this space. You will be able to see it, legally, safely, without needing to wear a condom on your head. I mean, you can if you want, but it will muffle the sound, distort your vision, and look weird.

Speaking of which: please don't download it illegally, it's a low budget UK movie, and if it doesn't make money, then it makes it more difficult for the next thing to get made. If you do download it and you like it, please consider buying it. We all worked really hard on it, it was a labour of love - Matthias the director even paid for the opening credits animation himself - so you won't be sticking it to some faceless corporation, you'll be hurting us directly and our jobs. However you see it, as long as you end up buying it, then I'm happy.

Thank you to everyone who has watched, enjoyed, said lovely things, purchased, spread the word, etc etc. And if you've bought it, sight unseen, thank you even more - I hope you like it! If you don't, then maybe wrap it up and pass it on to someone you hate as a Christmas present. Everyone's a winner. Except that person you hate. Unless they like it. Okay, this is too complicated now. Enjoy!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Cockneys Vs Zombies deleted scene

CvsZ is out on DVD and blu-ray in the UK this Monday 22nd October, but to keep you going in the meantime, here's a deleted scene on the movie's official Facebook page. It's probably my favourite deleted scene, and features more of Alan Ford punching and swearing.

You can pre-order right now from Amazon. It keeps hovering around the top 3 in the Comedy Horror chart, which is nice - here's a pic from when it was at 1 and 2:


Saturday, October 13, 2012

Cockneys Vs Zombies on DVD & Blu-ray

Cockneys Vs Zombies is released in the UK and Ireland on shiny, shiny disc format on October 22nd! You can pre-order it right now, and at the moment Amazon seem to have the best offer - £9 for the DVD and £11 for the Blu-ray. Look at the lovely covers!


There'll be a making-of documentary and interviews with cast and crew, but unfortunately no commentaries. I know, we all really wanted some. But in these days of difficult economic thingies, recording a proper commentary can be quite expensive for DVD companies - hiring a screening room, getting food and drinks, travel there and back, sound engineer, etc etc. We don't get paid for doing them, of course, but most film-makers are happy to do them to help make the disc nicer. Don't blame the DVD folk though, they're good people, it's just a tricky time for everyone.

BUT - I'm going to record a commentary myself, on my laptop, and put it online for free. I'll work out a way to sync it up properly (perhaps with the first company logo or something), and you can at least have my commentary to go with it. I think Matthias wants to do one too, if so then I'll link to them both on here. We do this because we love you - you've supported us all the way since it was announced, you spread the word, went to see it, said lovely things, and have generally been brilliant. Look, it's already at number 5 and 6 in the Comedy Horror chart at Amazon! That's all thanks to YOU, preordering it!

I'm really glad that everyone in the UK will be able to see it, we couldn't get it into every cinema, it's a crowded movie world out there lately. But now you can have it sent directly to your home. Also, it's the first of my movies to be released on Blu-ray, as Severance never quite made it to that format (except in Germany and Australia, for some reason), so I'm really chuffed about that. Hope you all enjoy it!

By the way, we will have news about the release in other countries *very* soon, hang in there! And the Tower Block DVD should be out roughly around the end of the year, though we don't have a set date yet.

Also by the way, the fantastic Jody Jenkins soundtrack of CvsZ is available as a download right now, and will be released on CD next month.

Also also by the way, we had a fantastic screening at Grimmfest in Manchester, for a very appreciative audience, followed by a quite spectacularly late evening of partying. It's a great festival, and hopefully next year I can attend the full weekend. Click this link for a fun interview with me and Alan Ford before the free drinks started, from the Zombie Hamster website, which is where this pic came from: